sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
only if we run a train.
done.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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