he thought i was a dude.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
