He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
