are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
