I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
