JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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