it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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