bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
