You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
