you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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