I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Two words: nipple clamps
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