i permit you to call me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We had to coat check the pizza.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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