the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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