Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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