ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
