Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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