Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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