if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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