At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
