Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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