Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm always down for nudity.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
