one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
