it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
