YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
