Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
