Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
