After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
