Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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