the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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