Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
