"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
