the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
