brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
