I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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