I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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