We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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