No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
