The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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