I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
