I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
