I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
