I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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