she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and she was petting her beer can
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i now understand why vodka
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
