This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
