every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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