I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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