Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need a beard to bite.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
