dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
