Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
