the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
