I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you never un-have a 4some
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
