We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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