He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
