I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
