Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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