don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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