someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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