But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
