He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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