This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
