So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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