i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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