So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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