ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
