he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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